It's been almost a year since my Cataract Surgery on my left eye (March 15, 2012), and the botched job is finally getting so much worse I need to do something. Studying my videos from the recent Monroe trial, I was horrified to see my handling getting worse. I know it's because my depth perception is off, as though I'm blathering drunk or seriously hung over all the time. I have a hard time distinguishing obstacle distances and all the horizontal bars blend together. I can't rely on vision to judge the distances. Sometimes the jumps are farther away than they seem, sometimes closer. I run in halting fashion like I'm confused, surprised, nearly lost. No wonder my dogs are slowing down despite them becoming better agility dogs.
Worse handling has resolved me to at last do something about my eyesight. I haven't wanted to think about it, much less deal with it. But now I see I must. I can't go thru life seeing things in a blur, not taking stairs unless I have a rail to hold onto, much less run my dogs with confidence.
Taking action on this fills me with fear. I have no confidence in doctors. They deal with your most vital parts, but don't know you from Adam. They make their money and toss you out to fend for yourself. The highly respected specialist who did my cataract surgery made me feel like a slab of cow meat. A few months after the surgery I attempted to write a followup post, but I couldn't finish it. I've finally posted it today, unedited, unpolished, a stream of conscious rambling account of my surgery and aftermath, entitled Cataract Surgery - Part 2. The upshot of which is . . . . when I told that doctor something wasn't right, his reaction was "I've done over 30,000 of these operations and I've done my job right. The tests show you have 20/20 vision in that eye. I don't know what else you expect me to do."
I don't either. But you're the specialist. Do something. Show interest in my case. Find out why my left eye is still swollen, it feels like a pin pricking the inside corner when I look left, like a blast of cold air hitting the surface when I look right, and my eye cries all the time. Plus, I'm still looking through a fog, and little brown squigglies float through the eye. My new eye sees things one size, the old eye sees them smaller. Very disorienting. I can't go back to that same pompous jackass, but I can't go on like this. So now I have to figure out my next move. What will it be? Guess I'll confer with a few different specialists and see what they suggest. I'll keep you posted.
Upwards and onward!
Experiences of a late-comer to the agility competition scene -- our training, trials, life-style changes/challenges, RV adventures, and observations on the sport, the people, and dogs involved in it. Begun July 17, 2010.
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Showing posts with label cataracts. Show all posts
Showing posts with label cataracts. Show all posts
Friday, March 8, 2013
Cataract Surgery - Part 3
Labels: training tips, dog club, practice, trials
cataracts,
Lucky videos,
Maxie videos,
Monroe Trial,
sports vision
Tuesday, May 15, 2012
Cataract Surgery - Part 2
It's been a few months since my Cataract Surgery - Part I post, and life has gotten in the way of me completing this post, the intention of which is to inform people of what can happen instead of the perfect vision one expects. Here is my story, too long for some I'm sure, but not long enough for those considering this surgery. It ain't always what it's cracked up to be, so BEWARE!
From perfect calm going into surgery to near panic afterwards, I dared not wait for my one week appointment to see what had gone wrong. While my near vision is vastly improved (I can read without glasses with the left eye), I am seeing a shadow behind each letter, and everything at a distance looks foggy. Distant tree tops look like big green blobs. There's a haze over everything. The clinic was closed on Monday so I got in Tuesday afternoon. I was put thru a bunch of tests, and the Doc says my surgery is healing perfectly, I've got 20/20 vision in that eye, and "What are you, just a big cry baby?" I was taken aback but didn't say anything more than "No, I just don't know if what I'm experiencing is normal. Ya'll don't tell us what to expect." After the doc left the room, his nurse explained that my eye may be staying dilated longer than some people's. Everything will be fine as soon as the pupil closes back up and muscles re-trained (therapy to come) to flex the flexibile Crystaline lens I opted for (and paid $2500 extra for since insurance only covers the static lens). Apparently, my old lens was stiff so the muscles have gotten weak. It could take up to 3 months for maximal vision to be realized, the tech explained.
So I'm going into a trial this weekend, not distraught, but miffed that there are so many things the doctors don't bother to tell you beforehand. It would only take them a few minutes to allay a patient's concerns. But since they don't, I'm sharing my experience here for anyone else out there who might benefit.
The incisions nowadays are very small, because the lens comes folded over "like a taco", they said. They slip it in then flatten it, so no stitches are required. You're not allowed to bend over for about 3 days, I guess so it doesn't fall out. HA! You have to sleep with your head propped up, or on the side away from the surgical eye for a few days, too, so it doesn't dislodge. HA! HA! Can you just see yourself waking up on the wrong side and your lens is lying on your pillow! OOPS!
Oh, I could say more. Like, a lens is nothing more than a thing. A replacable thing. They make an incision in the lens pouch, suck out the old one like, they tell me, "sucking a grape out of its skin", insert the new. The lens insurance pays for are inflexible lens, set for either close up or distance, your choice. You still need glasses for one or the other. The Crystaline Lens is flexible but not covered by insurance, though they aren't much more expensive. Go figure.
Then there are what they call the "hinges". "The muscles of the eye have to re-attach to the hinges", they say, "then the muscles have to learn to bend and contract the lens according to what you are focusing on". All the years of going blind, the muscles have weakened. They require rehab. They don't tell you that ahead of time!
Then there are the eye drops. An antibiotic, 1 drop 4 times a day. An anti-inflamatory, 1 drop 2 times a day. Both of these begin 3 days before surgery, both sting, and my insurance co-pay was $120. After surgery, another anti-inflamatory is added, 4 times a day, for . . . . . they didn't say how long. I'm still dropping them in. Guess that's right.
For those considering this surgery, here are even more details:
The surgery is painless. The first round of drops sting a bit for a few seconds; there's a stick when they put in the IV drip in your hand, and you have to fast from midnight to the following morning after surgery, but that's all. Recovery takes only a few days before you're good to run and play, however it takes up to 3 months and several checkups, and maybe a lasic correction, before you're done. They don't tell you that until afterwards.
Starting from scratch, you have to get an eye exam to see if you qualify, and if so, you must schedule the surgery within 3 months. Then, you have to get a signed permission from your Family Doctor attesting to the Eye Surgery Center that you are in good enough health. Since I have no family doctor, I had to get a physical! Fortunately, I've been in process of getting thoroughly checked out as I turn 65, with an assigned doctor sending me here and there for lab tests, and explaining the results to me. She signed the form.
You have to decide whether to have the standard lens put in (that insurance covers), or the Crystalin lens, which costs $2650 per eye, out of pocket. In any case, you have to begin a regimen of eye drops 4 times a day for 3 days prior to the surgery -- one an anti-inflammatory, the other an antibiotoc. Even with insurance, these drops cost $125! OUCH! And doing anything 4 times a day, on schedule, without fail, is a strain. Thank god for my I-phone's wonderful alarm system.
You are required to have someone come with you to drive you home. They have to stay in the waiting room the whole time -- can't leave. No problem, as John was with me and brought his book. With surgery scheduled for 7 a.m., you are told to fast after midnight. I was told I could have black coffee, water, or unsweetened tea over at the eye center a few weeks earlier, so I made myself up a big cup and walked into the surgery center with it. They asked me if I had been drinking it, I said yes, and they had a fit, saying "Who told you that?", I was NOT allowed coffee or anything but water. I would have to reschedule, or I could wait until 9 a.m. and could NOT leave the waiting room in the meantime.
I had received a letter in the mail a few days prior to surgery saying they were going "paperless in compliance with new laws" and would I please go online and fill out my forms there. I did that, then saw no need to bring my folder of papers along, then they couldn't pull up my online papers and I had to fill them all out by hand anyway. Good thing the surgery was pushed back!
It all worked out. About 8 they began putting drops in my eyes to dilate my pupils, and moved me and John into a dark TV room, where we sat back in recliners and watched an I Love Lucy DVD. Every so often someone would come in and add more drops to my left eye. I've never found Lucille Ball funny, just loud, obnoxious and silly, but there must have been a sedative in those drops or I was more nervous than I thought, because I found both her and Desi hilarious! I was sorry they came to get us at 9.
John stayed behind. They laid me on a gurney, fully clothed, shoes on, with a hair net over my head and footies over my shoes. The anesthesialogist stuck an IV in my hand, nurses added more drops to my eye, I told jokes, and we all chatted and laughed for about 15 minutes, It felt like a party. Then the anesthesialogist said he was beginning the drip but I'd remain awake and aware, they wheeled me what seemed like a few yards out of the room into another one. When I got in there I asked "How long before the surgery", and they said it was all over! HUH! I don't remember a thing.
They sent me home with dark sunglasses for outside, an eye patch to wear at night, and instructions not to bend over or lift anything heavy for 48 hours, not to cook, to sleep on my back, and keep up with my eyedrops as before, plus a new one, for a week. No computer work for 24 hours.
I was to come in the next morning for a checkup, which I passed. That's when they explained that it could take up to 3 months for complete healing to take place and I might need to schedule a lasic correction at some point. I passed the test with flying colors, though. All seems perfect at the moment.
There was some sensation of gravel in my eye the first few days. Also a sense of eye strain. My eyelid wanted to stay shut the first day so I let it. It was like looking thru vaseline, with a violet haze. The next day the world looked blue instead of the yellow tint I'm used to. Like those new blue headlights I despise, or those white light lightbulbs that make everything, including people, look garrish. My depth perception is a bit off. I reach for something but it's still half an inch away.
So, here I am 2 months later and the left eye has made NO IMPROVEMENT. I am extremely sad, disappointed, and angry. I had scheduled the second eye for 3 weeks after the first, but I cancelled that until the left eye started feeling like my own. It still doesn't. While I'm not in any sort of pain, after 11 days I am still a tad disoriented and have slight headaches behind both eyes. My reading glasses don't work any more. The left eye doesn't need them, the right eye can't see without them. So I read with one eye shut depending on which one is tired. For distance, I use mostly the right eye. The new eye has horrible distance vision.
Just for the hell of it, I Googled "cataract surgery"+Alternatives, and the first page that popped up said "Cataract Surgery Obsolete" and goes on to describe what cataracts actually are, how they form, and drops that dissolve them within 6 months. That made me feel like crap. So shitty, in fact, I can't finish this post. I feel like a fool for not checking out alternatives to begin with. Me, the gal who has preached "alternative medicine" for years. What a fool I am.
Sorry, I can't write any more on this topic right now. I'll try later when my thoughts aren't so scattered and I'm not so upset. . . . . . . . . see Cataract Surgery - Part 3, finally written in March 2013.
From perfect calm going into surgery to near panic afterwards, I dared not wait for my one week appointment to see what had gone wrong. While my near vision is vastly improved (I can read without glasses with the left eye), I am seeing a shadow behind each letter, and everything at a distance looks foggy. Distant tree tops look like big green blobs. There's a haze over everything. The clinic was closed on Monday so I got in Tuesday afternoon. I was put thru a bunch of tests, and the Doc says my surgery is healing perfectly, I've got 20/20 vision in that eye, and "What are you, just a big cry baby?" I was taken aback but didn't say anything more than "No, I just don't know if what I'm experiencing is normal. Ya'll don't tell us what to expect." After the doc left the room, his nurse explained that my eye may be staying dilated longer than some people's. Everything will be fine as soon as the pupil closes back up and muscles re-trained (therapy to come) to flex the flexibile Crystaline lens I opted for (and paid $2500 extra for since insurance only covers the static lens). Apparently, my old lens was stiff so the muscles have gotten weak. It could take up to 3 months for maximal vision to be realized, the tech explained.
So I'm going into a trial this weekend, not distraught, but miffed that there are so many things the doctors don't bother to tell you beforehand. It would only take them a few minutes to allay a patient's concerns. But since they don't, I'm sharing my experience here for anyone else out there who might benefit.
The incisions nowadays are very small, because the lens comes folded over "like a taco", they said. They slip it in then flatten it, so no stitches are required. You're not allowed to bend over for about 3 days, I guess so it doesn't fall out. HA! You have to sleep with your head propped up, or on the side away from the surgical eye for a few days, too, so it doesn't dislodge. HA! HA! Can you just see yourself waking up on the wrong side and your lens is lying on your pillow! OOPS!
Oh, I could say more. Like, a lens is nothing more than a thing. A replacable thing. They make an incision in the lens pouch, suck out the old one like, they tell me, "sucking a grape out of its skin", insert the new. The lens insurance pays for are inflexible lens, set for either close up or distance, your choice. You still need glasses for one or the other. The Crystaline Lens is flexible but not covered by insurance, though they aren't much more expensive. Go figure.
Then there are what they call the "hinges". "The muscles of the eye have to re-attach to the hinges", they say, "then the muscles have to learn to bend and contract the lens according to what you are focusing on". All the years of going blind, the muscles have weakened. They require rehab. They don't tell you that ahead of time!
Then there are the eye drops. An antibiotic, 1 drop 4 times a day. An anti-inflamatory, 1 drop 2 times a day. Both of these begin 3 days before surgery, both sting, and my insurance co-pay was $120. After surgery, another anti-inflamatory is added, 4 times a day, for . . . . . they didn't say how long. I'm still dropping them in. Guess that's right.
For those considering this surgery, here are even more details:
The surgery is painless. The first round of drops sting a bit for a few seconds; there's a stick when they put in the IV drip in your hand, and you have to fast from midnight to the following morning after surgery, but that's all. Recovery takes only a few days before you're good to run and play, however it takes up to 3 months and several checkups, and maybe a lasic correction, before you're done. They don't tell you that until afterwards.
Starting from scratch, you have to get an eye exam to see if you qualify, and if so, you must schedule the surgery within 3 months. Then, you have to get a signed permission from your Family Doctor attesting to the Eye Surgery Center that you are in good enough health. Since I have no family doctor, I had to get a physical! Fortunately, I've been in process of getting thoroughly checked out as I turn 65, with an assigned doctor sending me here and there for lab tests, and explaining the results to me. She signed the form.
You have to decide whether to have the standard lens put in (that insurance covers), or the Crystalin lens, which costs $2650 per eye, out of pocket. In any case, you have to begin a regimen of eye drops 4 times a day for 3 days prior to the surgery -- one an anti-inflammatory, the other an antibiotoc. Even with insurance, these drops cost $125! OUCH! And doing anything 4 times a day, on schedule, without fail, is a strain. Thank god for my I-phone's wonderful alarm system.
You are required to have someone come with you to drive you home. They have to stay in the waiting room the whole time -- can't leave. No problem, as John was with me and brought his book. With surgery scheduled for 7 a.m., you are told to fast after midnight. I was told I could have black coffee, water, or unsweetened tea over at the eye center a few weeks earlier, so I made myself up a big cup and walked into the surgery center with it. They asked me if I had been drinking it, I said yes, and they had a fit, saying "Who told you that?", I was NOT allowed coffee or anything but water. I would have to reschedule, or I could wait until 9 a.m. and could NOT leave the waiting room in the meantime.
I had received a letter in the mail a few days prior to surgery saying they were going "paperless in compliance with new laws" and would I please go online and fill out my forms there. I did that, then saw no need to bring my folder of papers along, then they couldn't pull up my online papers and I had to fill them all out by hand anyway. Good thing the surgery was pushed back!
It all worked out. About 8 they began putting drops in my eyes to dilate my pupils, and moved me and John into a dark TV room, where we sat back in recliners and watched an I Love Lucy DVD. Every so often someone would come in and add more drops to my left eye. I've never found Lucille Ball funny, just loud, obnoxious and silly, but there must have been a sedative in those drops or I was more nervous than I thought, because I found both her and Desi hilarious! I was sorry they came to get us at 9.
John stayed behind. They laid me on a gurney, fully clothed, shoes on, with a hair net over my head and footies over my shoes. The anesthesialogist stuck an IV in my hand, nurses added more drops to my eye, I told jokes, and we all chatted and laughed for about 15 minutes, It felt like a party. Then the anesthesialogist said he was beginning the drip but I'd remain awake and aware, they wheeled me what seemed like a few yards out of the room into another one. When I got in there I asked "How long before the surgery", and they said it was all over! HUH! I don't remember a thing.
They sent me home with dark sunglasses for outside, an eye patch to wear at night, and instructions not to bend over or lift anything heavy for 48 hours, not to cook, to sleep on my back, and keep up with my eyedrops as before, plus a new one, for a week. No computer work for 24 hours.
I was to come in the next morning for a checkup, which I passed. That's when they explained that it could take up to 3 months for complete healing to take place and I might need to schedule a lasic correction at some point. I passed the test with flying colors, though. All seems perfect at the moment.
There was some sensation of gravel in my eye the first few days. Also a sense of eye strain. My eyelid wanted to stay shut the first day so I let it. It was like looking thru vaseline, with a violet haze. The next day the world looked blue instead of the yellow tint I'm used to. Like those new blue headlights I despise, or those white light lightbulbs that make everything, including people, look garrish. My depth perception is a bit off. I reach for something but it's still half an inch away.
So, here I am 2 months later and the left eye has made NO IMPROVEMENT. I am extremely sad, disappointed, and angry. I had scheduled the second eye for 3 weeks after the first, but I cancelled that until the left eye started feeling like my own. It still doesn't. While I'm not in any sort of pain, after 11 days I am still a tad disoriented and have slight headaches behind both eyes. My reading glasses don't work any more. The left eye doesn't need them, the right eye can't see without them. So I read with one eye shut depending on which one is tired. For distance, I use mostly the right eye. The new eye has horrible distance vision.
Just for the hell of it, I Googled "cataract surgery"+Alternatives, and the first page that popped up said "Cataract Surgery Obsolete" and goes on to describe what cataracts actually are, how they form, and drops that dissolve them within 6 months. That made me feel like crap. So shitty, in fact, I can't finish this post. I feel like a fool for not checking out alternatives to begin with. Me, the gal who has preached "alternative medicine" for years. What a fool I am.
Sorry, I can't write any more on this topic right now. I'll try later when my thoughts aren't so scattered and I'm not so upset. . . . . . . . . see Cataract Surgery - Part 3, finally written in March 2013.
Labels: training tips, dog club, practice, trials
cataract surgery,
cataracts
Friday, May 4, 2012
Components Training
Going through a rough patch these past 2 months, I haven't been blogging much. Then Susan Garrett's Components Training blog post came along, and suddenly I feel I have a better handle on how to get through all of this. Agility Training is like that. It offers many lessons that can be applied to life. Here's a short synopsis of what's going on with me:
Then yesterday I read a blurb on Susan Garret's blog about Components Training, breaking it up into little tiny pieces and just doing one step at a time to get the desired result. Not trying to teach nor expect the final behavior all at once. Back chaining as necessary to build a solid foundation. Just as I've done teaching Montessori pre-schoolers throughout my professional career. Break complicated skills down into tiny components, then put them together, and ordinary kids perform what seem like extraordinary feats. Everyone is gifted with the right training.
The article gave me just the advice I needed to tackle this mountain of details facing me. Start somewhere, doing one little thing at a time, whittling down the pile bit by bit. Of course I already know all that, but the reminder came in at the right moment, and suddenly I don't feel so overwhelmed. I must feel better. Looky here, I'm blogging!
I have Tanya Lee's agility seminar to blog about, what I learned recently about how to tug properly, my new RV, my puppy's progress, and my cataract surgery. The little post I put up earlier entitled 'CATARACT SURGERY - Part I' received more hits than most others I've posted, so this must be a very hot search topic. I promise to give it it's due, when I get time. It will keep. I have to prioritize. Baby steps. Baby steps. Baby steps WILL get me back on top of the pile eventually.
As well as, always, the 3 P's:
If not upwards and onward for the moment, at least maybe I'll not be going downward and backwards.
- My cataract surgery did not go well last month and I'm dealing with vertigo, fear and disappointment. I had such high hopes to get improved vision, but it is worse. I feel sad deep down inside, always on the verge of tears, like our disabled veterans must feel.
- My right hip started hurting last month and I'm having trouble running and going up stairs. Anti-inflammatories and ice packs have done nothing to heal it. What's up with this? I need to see a doctor but don't have the time.
- My Dad died yesterday after a long painful illness. I spent a week with my Mother at his bedside in Florida, watching him grow weaker and saying goodbye, and that was sad.
- His funeral arrangements, and moving my Mom into an assisted living situation closer to home, are all up in the air, especially with the long distances we live apart. She's very independent, too, so is making all the decisions, but my activities are on hold until all this is settled.
- With me out of town for a whole week, the yard and house have gone to the dogs, and I'm not at all ready to receive the company that's coming in for Dad's funeral.
- I came home to learn that my husband's young son in law was killed in a car crash while I was in Florida tending to Dad, leaving behind a widow and 7 young children. Inconceivably sad, far sadder than what I'm going through.
- My new RV needs some minor work before I take it to a trial, and I don't have time for that with all the other stuff going on.
- My new puppy needs training and I have neither time nor concentration for that.
- I brought home some mangos from Florida, and along with them came fruit flies, which are now all over my kitchen. The fly catcher strips I've hung up are no where near as desirable to these pests as a banana peel, so I interwove one of those into the strip last night. This morning there were 100 or more flies on the strip! One small victory! But at least 500 more flies are still on the loose.
- The stinging caterpillars all last month have my dogs so afraid to go outside, they are peeing and pooping in the house. They've been stung several times, and despite my diligent efforts to clean up after them, the house is getting "that odor". With company coming for the funeral, that makes me frantic.
- My grieving mother has been on an emotional roller coaster regarding my Dad's illness and now his death, making us all fear for her health as well.
Then yesterday I read a blurb on Susan Garret's blog about Components Training, breaking it up into little tiny pieces and just doing one step at a time to get the desired result. Not trying to teach nor expect the final behavior all at once. Back chaining as necessary to build a solid foundation. Just as I've done teaching Montessori pre-schoolers throughout my professional career. Break complicated skills down into tiny components, then put them together, and ordinary kids perform what seem like extraordinary feats. Everyone is gifted with the right training.
The article gave me just the advice I needed to tackle this mountain of details facing me. Start somewhere, doing one little thing at a time, whittling down the pile bit by bit. Of course I already know all that, but the reminder came in at the right moment, and suddenly I don't feel so overwhelmed. I must feel better. Looky here, I'm blogging!
I have Tanya Lee's agility seminar to blog about, what I learned recently about how to tug properly, my new RV, my puppy's progress, and my cataract surgery. The little post I put up earlier entitled 'CATARACT SURGERY - Part I' received more hits than most others I've posted, so this must be a very hot search topic. I promise to give it it's due, when I get time. It will keep. I have to prioritize. Baby steps. Baby steps. Baby steps WILL get me back on top of the pile eventually.
As well as, always, the 3 P's:
- Patience,
- Persistence, and
- Prayer
If not upwards and onward for the moment, at least maybe I'll not be going downward and backwards.
Labels: training tips, dog club, practice, trials
agility training,
cataracts,
components training,
RV/Camping
Wednesday, April 4, 2012
Cataract Surgery - Part 1
I didn't want to say anything about my recent cataract surgery until I knew the outcome. I went in calm and optimistic two weeks ago tomorrow, but it's been a scary and disappointing couple of weeks and I still don't know the outcome. Meanwhile, I've missed all my classes, haven't practiced a bit, haven't trained the puppy, haven't exercised, couldn't teach my classes, and am just crossing my fingers that my depth perception will be back on track by this weekend for our club's annual Agility Trial. I see 20/20 with the new eye (says the doctor), but it feels like someone else's eye in my body, there is considerable eye strain, and the ground swells up and the background spins when I try to run or turn fast.
I scheduled this surgery 3 weeks before our trial, on assurances that I'd be up and running within 3 days! But I didn't even dare drive for the first week, and still don't go down stairs without holding on to the railing. I drive with extreme caution, checking and rechecking my spacing. I hope I can run my courses and help with the trial. Far from hoping for Q's for Maxie and Lucky, I'm just hoping to complete my runs and not trip, fall, injure or embarass myself.
It's been a disorienting two weeks. I'm jotting down a whirlwind of thoughts and tips but am not ready to share. Meanwhile, I'm keeping busy doing things I can. Like right now -- laundry and planning meals for the weekend when I'll be too tired to cook. And I've probably killed 1,000 stinging caterpillars.
Upwards and onward!
I scheduled this surgery 3 weeks before our trial, on assurances that I'd be up and running within 3 days! But I didn't even dare drive for the first week, and still don't go down stairs without holding on to the railing. I drive with extreme caution, checking and rechecking my spacing. I hope I can run my courses and help with the trial. Far from hoping for Q's for Maxie and Lucky, I'm just hoping to complete my runs and not trip, fall, injure or embarass myself.
It's been a disorienting two weeks. I'm jotting down a whirlwind of thoughts and tips but am not ready to share. Meanwhile, I'm keeping busy doing things I can. Like right now -- laundry and planning meals for the weekend when I'll be too tired to cook. And I've probably killed 1,000 stinging caterpillars.
Upwards and onward!
Labels: training tips, dog club, practice, trials
cataracts,
health concerns
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